February 25, 2013 (Originally written on February 8, 2013)

I admire people who are consistent. Am I one of them? Absolutely not! I haven’t blogged since October 5, 2012- five months ago. I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind was writing. I wake most morning and the first thing on my mind is to write my thoughts, but the words never find their way to paper.

I don’t make resolutions, only life changes, and I truly believe I have reached a turning point. In the words of the old Negro spiritual, “…a change is gonna come.” I am not sure if that is a part of a hymn or a Sam Cooke song, but for today, let’s make it a hymn. The real deal is, I haven’t found out what gets in the way of my writing. What is blocking me? I didn’t have access to my computer this morning, but I pulled it out of my bag, waited five minutes for it to boot up and was hell-bent on writing. Why this morning?

Over the last several months, I have had many pressing thoughts, ones more conscience than today, but today’s feeling overtook me. Just imagine yourself in your head trying to get out. Can you picture it? Your face against your brain, hands spread apart knocking on the chamber walls of each quadrant. Not a pretty sight. Most of us are tramped in there and we never get out. Why? Outside influence, i.e. work, family, relationships maybe? I need to work, I have my family to care for, I must…I have to…I need to…etc…on and on and on. Notice the excuses never end. Somehow I or we need to silence the, ‘I need to monster’ that lives in us; that thought or person which makes us less than we could be. I know I sound like I am rambling, but I am really trying to figure this thing out.

“Early this morning when I rose children, I didn’t have no doubt!” that I needed to write. Now that I have a legitimate verse from Negro spiritual, maybe I will find my voice.